Not the cicada in question. This one had the courtesy not to die on my back deck at the crack of dawn.
At 5:00 this morning, a cicada dying on our back deck woke me from a deep, lovely sleep. Or to be more accurate, Jack woke me up. Because to Jack, the sliding glass door that lets out on the back deck is his personal window on the outside world and all manner of exciting things happen on the other side of it that he just must be a part of. Even, apparently, at 5:00 AM. Because Jack is 55 fuzzy pounds of boundless enthusiasm and canine curiosity.
I thought he had to pee. So because he was being a good dog by summoning me to the back door with single, politely spaced barks, I got up. When I pulled the glass door aside, I had just enough time to register the tell-tale buzzing and staccato rapping of the cicada’s wings against the deck as it tried to flip itself off its back, before Jack lunged. I caught him, because I didn’t really want to hear the sound the cicada might make as Jack crunched it between his teeth.
Jack, proudly showing off a new toy which he gutted of all it’s fluff and squeaker just a few minutes after this was taken.
To his credit, I don’t think Jack was actually going to eat it. Because he didn’t last time. Yes, it’s happened before, a couple of weeks ago – a late summer phenomenon, I would never have predicted – that a cicada’s dying throes would wake our sweet boy from a deep sleep in our bedroom a story above (Jack sleeps like the dead) and draw him to the sliding glass door where, for the second time this season, a cicada had chosen to strut and fret his last few minutes on the stage. Dammit, Jack.
Still, it wouldn’t have been so bad except that when I stepped outside to shoo Jack down the steps into the yard just in case he really did have to pee, my head passed through a hundred sticky, invisible threads. It’s not a pleasant sensation, your face and hair being suddenly wrapped in spider web (and as I think I established in a previous essay, almost nothing sticky is good) especially when it’s 5:00 in the morning and you have been most cruelly wrested from your lovely refreshing sleep. I wasn’t expecting it.
I should have been, though. Because that particular spider had been rebuilding that same web across the top corner of the doorway for the last couple of weeks. So far he’s caught my partner and I (who are usually the first and the last people in or out that door every day) several times, with particularly spectacular results when it involves my darling, spider-phobic partner. She really hates this spider.
And I know, if I really loved her, I would have relocated the offending arachnid by now, but honestly I just keep thinking, Surely it won’t do it again! But mostly because lately, I’ve been having some multitasking issues related to the waning vigor of my ability to store and process information on a short-term basis. (i.e. I just keep forgetting about it.) Which is probably why I walked through the infernal thing again this morning.
Once I had clawed most of the sticky silk from my hair and eyes, I turned my attention back to the dying cicada. He needed to be relocated. So I picked him up. He buzzed and bounced about in my hand. I promptly dropped him. He hit the deck, bounced and flew right through the open door into the house until he bounced off the living room wall, fell to the floor and landed on his back again. I sighed, walked over and offered him a finger. He glommed on with all six clawed appendages and I carried him back outside.
And there I found myself in a quandary. I was standing at the railing of the deck with a cicada clinging to my finger, and he would not let go. I waved my hand about a bit as if to say, Fly away big ugly bug! Fly away! He declined and dug his little claws in tighter. I gently pinched him between thumb and forefinger with my other hand and tried to pull him off. He dug in tighter so that I was afraid if I persisted, he would lose a leg before he let go of me. I laid my hand on the railing and gave him a chance to disembark and walk away. He declined.
Now before I tell you this next part, I have to remind you that it was 5:00 on a Sunday morning and I had been pulled a lovely deep sleep and I really, really wanted to go back to bed. So I pulled my index finger back, cocked it against my thumb, and flicked. The cicada sailed over the railing and into the darkness below. I felt a twinge of guilt for not being more gentle with the dying bug, sighed, turned to go in and walked right back through the hanging remains of the spider web.
Anyone else having bug (or spider) troubles this summer? Got a story? Share it below!
cravesadventure
/ August 5, 2012The wolf spiders have been on overdrive lately and have had a couple in the house (do not prefer indoor living so become a little aggressive). What a morning and not a great way to wake up!
Fork in My Eye
/ August 7, 2012Heheh. No, not my favorite way to wake up, but I suppose if you’re going to have dogs and children, you might as well give up much hope of sleeping late.
Elyse
/ August 5, 2012Yes, I do think this year needs to be renamed “The Year of the Spider.” Yuck.
Fork in My Eye
/ August 7, 2012I don’t mind the little web-spinners so much, but my partner sure hates it when they get in the house. My preferred method is catch-and-release but it’s sometimes difficult to manage while she is shouting, “Kill it! Just kill it!”
kentiki
/ August 5, 2012Oh boy! I pulled apart the rotten wood on the front of my house, and between the outer and inner walls were HUNDREDS of huntsman spiders (Daddy Longlegs). Harmless, and I don’t mind them at all, but it was like the scene from Harry Potter in the woods when the baby acromantulas were chasing the kids down to eat them.
I am sure Jack sees the cicada as an invader to his territory. How dare it be there!?
Fork in My Eye
/ August 7, 2012I love that you know your Harry Potter lingo! Did you take a picture? And you’re probably right about Jack. I hadn’t thought about it in terms of territory. I just thought he was trying to torment me. Bless his goofy little heart.
kentiki
/ August 9, 2012I love Harry! I did not take a picture unfortunately, probably b/c I was dripping in sweat and was desperate to get inside.
mthew
/ August 5, 2012Five am bug stories get me every time.
Cicadas fly just a little more elegantly than water bugs, that is to say, not at all like a dragonfly. Never had one grab on to me as if I was a twig, though.
Fork in My Eye
/ August 7, 2012Heh heh. No, not a graceful flyer. I was really surprised he survived his encounter with the living room wall.
beebeesworld
/ August 5, 2012When I found a dead cicada, my darling son threw it to our cat, who promptly ate it-yuk! I have tried to put multiple images from my computer or camera on blogs, and it seems they are set to go, but only one will appear in the blog-is there anything you can tell me that might help me succeed in having multiple photos on a blog? Thanks, enjoyed your work, as always, beebeesworld
Fork in My Eye
/ August 7, 2012Oh, yuck! Did you hear it crunching? That’s why I grabbed Jack. I didn’t want to hear the crunching. As for the photos, I’ve found I can upload several at a time but then I have to insert each one into the post separately. Perhaps that’s where your problem is occurring? I’m not very good at it either. I always end up putting a photo in the wrong place, or accidentally erasing text when I remove a photo to try again, or any manner of other missteps. It usually involves much more time than I had planned and a bit of cussing.
beebeesworld
/ August 7, 2012Hi, I got a couple of pics to download in a prompt about writing a post card and responding. i guess that’s the trick. Once I got it to look like it was accepting a lot of pics, but only one appeared. I will try the one at a time. Its so hard to see the tiny photos on the computer….I study mantises, used to have so many, but house have taken gardens…anyway, once a full grown mantis caught a cicada and was eating it-I heard it screaming-it was awful, but it was too late to do anything-I try to let nature take its course. I still remeber that shrill noice…not good! beebee
Paul J. Stam
/ August 5, 2012With all of Jack’s other talents, maybe he can be trained to point out where spiders are webbing. ;~}
Fork in My Eye
/ August 7, 2012Hi Paul! That would be awesome, or not, depending on whether my partner is home. I try never to point out spider sign to her and just remove it when she’s not looking.
Sandy Sue
/ August 6, 2012I had no idea that’s what cicadas looked like. Thank you for that!
Fork in My Eye
/ August 7, 2012You’re welcome! They’re cool looking, aren’t they?
Munira
/ August 7, 2012I had no idea what a cicada looked like either! It’s beautiful! In a creepy kinda buggy way o.O
You’re so funny!
I burst out laughing at the bit where you offered it your finger
Fork in My Eye
/ August 7, 2012Thanks! And I think cicadas are pretty creepy-cool bugs, too. Kind of clumsy and cute close up and creepy when you think of how many are in the trees making that summer buzzy-whine.
bloggeretterized
/ August 9, 2012I’d never seen a cicada! cool bugs! wouldn’t hold one even if they paid me! hahahaha
We’re not having a bug problem…it’s kinda a bigger one. Our pets are outdoor pets. Mr. Spot our 14 year dog and Kung Fu our 6 month old Bunny Rabbit. They have been enjoying the peaceful and quietness of our back and front yards until now. We haven’t figured out yet what in the world is invading their space, specially at night, but some sort of white furry creature with pink head is eating their food at night. We think it’s an opossum or some sort of animal. It’s definitely not a cat and it moves so fast that we can’t catch it or see where it runs away to. We’ve searched for underground nests without any luck. it may be living on our mango tree….